Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
