Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
