Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
