Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
