last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
