I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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