I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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