he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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