i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
