She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Found the puke drawer
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
