Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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