i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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