Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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