Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
