Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
