"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
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Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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