So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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