You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize