I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
