why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
