just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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