Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
