If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
