Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
