Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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