currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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