he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
