where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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