a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize