I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize