my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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