and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize