I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
