On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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