Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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