Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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