Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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