Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
