Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
