please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
