it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
