thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
