I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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