If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize