so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
he shaved USA in his pubs
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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