Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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