They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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