Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
