So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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