i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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