No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize