maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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