I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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