i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
