Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize