I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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