I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
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I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
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My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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