Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
