he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
