I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I miss vodka workout Fridays
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
