Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
