billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
