Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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