I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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