Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
