sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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