She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
