Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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