I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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