They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
