You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
