East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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