You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
